


Tell Me You're Joking

by vindiya



Series: Marvel Fluff Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Bonding, F/M, Jane and Thor play matchmaker, Mischief, Tasers, fluffbingo, marvelfluffbingo, my fingers slipped, prank planning, prompt: first date, square filled: blind date, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-12 09:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17464595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vindiya/pseuds/vindiya
Summary: Darcy and Loki haven’t had a date in a while for various reasons. Jane and Thor think they’d be perfect together so they set them up.





	Tell Me You're Joking

**Author's Note:**

> This fic actually fills two requests at once. Anonymous requested Tasertricks with the prompt of Blind Date to my writing Tumblr a while back and I had completely forgotten about it. Then my Round 2 Marvel Fluff Bingo card arrived and low and behold it had Blind Date on it. Add in that my fluff bingo card had the prompt first date and I think I sort of hit a trifecta of sorts. I figured I would kill two birds with one stone and here we are, one fluffy Tasertricks blind date coming right up. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

“Please tell me you’re joking?” Darcy bursts when Jane finishes.

“What do you mean?” Jane asks with a confused look for her friend's disbelieving response.

“You set me up?” The intern starts, “On a blind date with your boyfriend’s younger brother?” The disdain drips from her voice as she enunciates each word.

She loves Jane don’t get her wrong. Loves that the astrophysicist is happy with her hulking blond beefcake of a man. He helps drag Jane from the lab at decent hours, though both have terrible eating habits no matter what happens. Both her and Thor are all too content to live on processed sugar and coffee and it makes Darcy’s stomach churn at the thought.

“When you say it like that it actually sounds sort of bad. But he’s exactly your type and you’ve both been having terrible luck on the dating front.”

Darcy raises an eyebrow at her friend. “Terrible luck on the dating front?” She says the words slowly, maybe they would sink in for the older woman on the other side of the lab.

“You can’t tell me Ian was a good idea in retrospect,” Jane breathes putting her work aside for the first time in the whole conversation, her work forgotten. Boss lady wasn’t going to like that she was going to need to rerun the model she set up, but it serves her right for dropping a bomb like this on Darcy.

“Not the point. Maybe I’m happy in singletown right now.”

“Are you happy in ‘singletown’?” The air quotes clear in her voice.

“Happier in singletown than I will be on that date you set up for me.”

“Just go, give it a try. If you don’t enjoy yourself, I will let you boss me into eating and sleeping without complaint.”

Darcy raises an eyebrow at her, “Can I have that in writing?”

 

 

“Brother, I have wonderful news,” Thor boasts entering the library in their family estate.

Loki places his thumb between the pages of the book he was reading and glances toward his older brother and eyebrow raised in question. Thor had a hard time keeping things to himself when he was in such an exuberant mood. If he didn’t say anything and just let him speak, his brother would explain why he was so pleased with himself.

“You aren’t going to ask me what it is?” Thor asks when the silence stretches too long.

“You asked Jane to marry you and she said yes,” Loki responds flatly.

“Not yet, but mother helped me secure reservations for dinner next month at The Skyline.” Thor’s shoulders droop a little that Loki would think he’d jump so far ahead of himself when there was still so much to plan for the proposal. Shaking his head, he smiles at the slim dark-haired young man waiting.

The younger son of Odin can feel a headache forming. His brother can be a bit dense at the best of times. He was also capable of sharing the intelligence of a rock at the worst. But in the years since childhood and the transition into adulthood, Thor had grown greatly. His selfishness tempered, his cruelty near entirely erased after Odin nearly cut him off two years ago. For almost two years Thor had to live like the average citizens of the United States and find a way to make it work. It had done wonders for his older brothers’ temperament, he’d even gained a surprising amount of wisdom.

“Shall I start guessing then?” he asks replacing his thumb with a bookmark and setting the book on the coffee table, his expression bland. He’s glad Thor is so happy in his relationship with Dr. Jane Foster. As it is he’s still amazed the woman has managed to outlast Sif’s passive-aggressive attempts to drive her away and their mother’s false sweetness in the early months of their courtship.

“No need. You have a date in a week with Jane’s best friend.” Thor explains looking pleased with this development.

Loki blinks owlishly at the hulking at his brother, a date? With Jane’s best friend?

“And I am to do what exactly?” He wishes he could summon the energy to be annoyed, all he can summon, however; is bewilderment. HIs happy self-centered to a fault brother was setting him up with his girlfriends closest friend.

“Go on a date,” Thor says it slowly as if the meaning is obvious.

“No.”

“Brother, please!”

“I said no. I have no interest in having my older brother find me dates. I’m perfectly capable of doing it on my own.”

He doesn’t wait for Thor to try to convince him, Loki sweeps by him intending to leave the library. Instead of walking past as he normally would though, Thor catches his wrist and pulls him up short. His eyebrows raised at  Loki's claim as if to say they both knew his words for the lie it is. Not that he would say as much aloud after his time away.

“Just meet the girl. If it doesn’t work out, you’re free to leave.” Thor gives him his best beseeching look and Loki’s frown deepens. Like their father, he doesn’t explain why it is so important that he go on the date. Knowing the happy couple, he was likely to be Thor’s best man at the wedding and if she is as close to Jane as Thor says, she’d be the maid of honor. Pinching the bridge of his nose and inhales deeply, he is in no mood for the lovebirds playing matchmaker.

He might be known for spinning tales and crafty stories to get what he wanted or manipulate others, but he had nothing on Thor’s earnest manipulations. The way he made you want to do what he was asking because it would do nothing more than make him happy. It worked best on their mother and Sif, and Loki had thought he’d long ago grown immune to the look. Apparently, that was not the case as he sighs.

“Fine. Where am I to meet this girl?”

Thor beams as he rattles off the address for a chain restaurant that skirted the line of middle-class fancy and casual and Loki wonders if he just agreed to some horrible punishment for some prank Thor finally realized he pulled. His green eyes narrow at his brother. He looks far too pleased with his acquiescence to the request. That never bodes well in the long term.

"If you think I’m going to like her you’re sorely mistaken.” Loki snaps.

“Of course, I would never think such a thing. I just wish to see you have a good time away from your books for one evening.” Thor agrees his mouth spread into an amused grin as he walks away, hands folded behind his back. 

 

In the end, Jane does put their agreement in writing, Darcy will have free reign in determining the length of lab activities for a week if she doesn’t have a good time on her blind date. Once the agreement is carefully filed away in Darcy’s shoulder bag, she tilts her head at Jane.

“So how am I going to know his brother from every other Joe Schmoo in the place?” She asks.

She made it a rule when Thor and Jane started dating that she wasn’t allowed to google anything about Thor’s family. The general idea is that if she didn’t look them up in the media, she would be able to develop an opinion of the hulking blond that made her friend blush like a school girl on a regular basis. For the most part, that rule has worked perfectly well for Darcy. Overall, she finds Thor to be a good guy, a little goofy, somewhat ridiculous, and very larger than life in attitude and action, but a good guy.

“I forgot you haven’t seen a family photo. I’ll get back to you on that.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve a rose and a favorite book, I will probably be okay with it,” she flips through a few pages of notes only half seeing the scribbled contents, “And just how fancy is this place going to be? Like do I need to buy a new dress for the occasion or is the black number I wear to faculty cocktail parties going to be fine?”

Jane makes a vague grunt of acknowledgment which means she’s already back in work mode. Sighing Darcy settles in for long hours of transcription and data entry. Her friend would get back to her eventually. As things stand now she's leaning toward her black cocktail dress. Knowing Jane and Thor they were going somewhere nice but also low-key. Her cocktail dress was perfect.

 

 

A week after agreeing to the insane idea of taking Jane’s best friend to dinner, Loki pauses in his research to find a slew of texts waiting for him on his cell phone. The notification light flashing a brilliant green demanding his attention. Giving up on ignoring it, he picks up his phone and checks his texts. All of them from his brother.

 _How would you prefer Darcy recognize you?_  
Brother?  
Loki are you there?  
Loki this isn’t funny.

Sighing heavily Loki pinches the bridge of his nose. Did no one respect the workload of a Ph.D. student? He had work to do, there wasn’t time to be discussing how he was going to reveal himself to Darcy. The entire date wasn’t important enough to warrant so much of his attention. Frustrated that Thor was so insistent about the whole thing, Loki responds with the first thing that comes to mind.

_I’ll bring her a rose and one of my books. At least if it turns out to be terrible, I can get some work done._

_Perhaps something else?_  
_She explicitly said she would prefer not to have such items used to identify you._

_Then maybe she should pick how I’ll identify her._

_Jane says she’ll be wearing a black cocktail dress and a gold necklace with a jade pendant._

The colors catch Loki’s attention. He’s always preferred black, gold, and green. At that thought his eyes narrow at his cell phone. His long fingers typing out another message to his brother.

_Did you tell Jane what colors Darcy should wear?_

_No._

_Truth._

_I did not. She picked them herself._

For a moment he stares at his phone unsure of what to say. She picked those colors herself. No coaching. It could mean she liked them herself, it wouldn’t be strange. Plenty of people liked those colors together. But it felt too pointed to be natural. Not that it stopped him from trying to visualize what she would look like in them.

_Very well. Tell Jane I’ll meet Darcy out front at 7 pm sharp._

_Of course._

He can almost hear Thor’s pleasure in those two words, and it makes him scowl as he returns to his work. Twenty-four hours to go and he would find out just what made his brother think this girl would be a good match for him. And probably prove how wrong he was.

 

 

On the day of the date, Jane somehow manages to wrap up on her own. She nearly forces Darcy from the lab, with some half-baked excuse that she had dinner plans with Thor that she couldn’t miss. The harried actions and the way she wouldn’t meet Darcy’s eyes when she asked why she hadn’t told her about this date spoke volumes. Jane wanted her out of the lab and getting ready for her date. Heaving a heavy sigh, Darcy packs up more to humor her friend than over any excitement for her approaching date.

The actual process of getting ready seems to drag by. Setting up your friends on blind dates when they aren’t actively looking for someone to date takes all of the fun out of getting ready. The usual excitement missing, there are no flutters in her stomach making the whole process robotic and she finishes a full hour before she needs to leave. It’s enough to make Darcy think she shouldn’t get excited about dates at all if it makes her hair and make-up cooperate for once.

Her hair styled into careful waves over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes rimmed in thick black lines of eyeliner that wing at the outer corners of her eyes. She's looking fine if Darcy does say so herself.

She paces her apartment after that. Thumbnail between her teeth as she attempts to reign in the desire to chew on the nail. Her frustration with the whole situation serving to make her stomach twist. Not helping.

Going into the kitchen she gets a glass and pulls a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge.

“I could stay home, tell Jane I got sick.” She mutters to herself as she fills the glass halfway with the soda. Her eyes flicking to the amber liquid in thought. It wouldn’t be a complete lie if she texted right now. She did feel terrible and it wasn’t nerves.

Taking a sip, she leans a hip against the counter, “If I do blow him off I’ll never hear the end of it.”

God, she was losing it if she was debating herself in her kitchen. Draining the glass, she sets it down and goes to get her purse. If she has time to act like a crazy person, she has time to leave and give it a try. She has an agreement to enforce, and she's looking forward to bossing Jane around for thinking she needs help getting a date.

Pulling out her phone she pulls up the messaging app.

_Call me fifteen minutes into the date to give me a convenient out. I will not forgive you if you don’t._

_You sure about that kid?_

_Very._

_How will I know you don’t need it?_

_I won’t answer._

_Fair enough._

Satisfied that her “dad” would help for once, she shoves her phone back into her purse and leaves. It was better than the endless memes he sent about the blind date for the last week. She doesn’t know how Pepper puts up with him sometimes, but she gives the woman credit for it every day. That woman is a god damn saint in Darcy’s book.

 

 

Loki sweeps across the sidewalk outside the restaurant for the fifth time. She’s late. He’s watched no less than fifteen couples go inside and six different women. None of them wearing a black cocktail dress with a gold necklace and jade pendant. He swears if she stands him up after he actually showed up (with minimal cajoling from his brother at that), he is going to be livid.

“If you’re Loki I deserve a refund just for showing up,” a voice states with a click of heels.

“You’re late,” he shoots back as he turns to look at the speaker.

He isn’t struck by her beauty. Nothing so mundane. She’s pretty, she put effort into her hair and make-up. She’s shorter than he imagined given his brother's stories, but the heels help close the otherwise large gap in their height. Her necklace rests peacefully on her chest the jade pendant stopping just above her ample cleavage. His gaze quickly shifts up before she can correct him. Something about the way she’s standing with hand on jutted hip screams she would in less than a heartbeat.

“What were you doing timing me?” She asks her lips twitching like they want to form into a smirk.

“It doesn’t matter, shall we?”

She gives the restaurant a once over and shrugs, “May as well.”

Her easy nonchalance comes as a surprise. Based on her greeting he would think she didn’t want to be there any more than he did. But the way she heads for the door like a woman on a mission, he comes up behind her and pulls the door open a little wider as they press into the lobby.

“You have a back-up plan don’t you," he presses a little closer than strictly necessary to whisper in her ear.

“Of course, I do. You probably do too. You scream planner.” She replies stepping to the hostess station, “Hi we uh called ahead under Odinson.”

The hostess looks relieved and her smile goes from polite disinterest to genuine. “Of course, it’ll be about ten minutes.”

“Cool thanks,” Darcy replies and turns to come nose to chest with her date. Her eyebrows rising in curiosity as she tilts her head back. She bites back the sassy comment about getting too close. The lobby was quite full so she was willing to give him a little wiggle room.

“I scream planner?”

“Don’t get offended. Every family has to have at least one. Though based on stories, the only one that doesn’t really plan in your family is Thor.”

“He does have a way of running headlong into everything.”

“That he does. Do you,” she waves her hand between them, her fingers grazing the soft dark material of his button down as she does, to illustrate he should move.

“Sorry.” He takes a step back.

“Mhm.”

Darcy walks away and takes a seat on the bench along the wall as they wait.

“What’s your back up plan?” He asks after she’s settled.

She grins leaning back into the cushion of the seat. He can’t help but return it, her attitude is almost infectious. She might be unhappy about the arrangement as he is, but she seems to enjoy toying with him. Add that she has a plan to escape the situation much as he does, doesn’t even seem to mind that he does, and Loki is suddenly much more intrigued by her. More than he was when she walked up.

“Is this one of those ‘I’ll-show-you-mine-if-you-show-me-yours’ situations, because honestly, that tends to go over better when I’ve had a couple of drinks and have a decent buzz going. Remind me to stop feigning enjoyment for Jane and Thor when they drag me to burger joints.”

“Stop feigning enjoyment when Jane and my brother drag you for burgers,” he responds, she laughs, and it isn’t one of those ‘wow-that’s-so-lame’ kind of laughs. He amused Darcy by responding with equal amounts of sass as she gives.

Either way she doesn’t respond at first, and Loki remains quiet. He can wait out his most stubborn tutors and professors, he can wait out one young woman that his brother is fond of and routinely refers to as his sister. The prolonged silence doesn’t appear to faze her at first, but after a couple minutes of them staring at each other and then pretending not to look at each other at all, she starts to fidget. Her hands go from her lap to her hair, to sitting on the bench at her thigh, back to her lap, and finally crossing her arms under her breasts when the hostess call them.

“Odinson, party of two.” The hostess announces and Darcy is on her feet, brown hair swaying about her shoulders as she crosses the small lobby to the hostess station once more.

The hostess smiles at them and leads them to a table in the back, the lights just far enough away to create a romantic atmosphere. There’s a small tealight on the table already lit and flickering as the hostess places their menus across from each other on the table.

“Your server tonight will be Angela and she’ll be right with you,” the hostess states before leaving them to figure out what comes next on their own.

Darcy starts shrugging out of her dark coat.

“Let me help you,” Loki offers moving behind her he takes her coat from her and hangs the coat on the hook at the top of the booth before she can protest. His own follows a moment later and he slides into the far side of the booth. His back to the rest of the patrons his head cocked to the side waiting. His mouth turned up into a cocky smirk as she studies him.

“Keep that up and I may reevaluate my desire for a refund,” she quips taking the open seat across from him.

“Sounds like a challenge.”

“And if it is?”

He leans forward until the table stops him and his smirk widens considerably, “Consider it accepted.”

Her eyes widen and he watches how she swallows like something he just said was particularly enticing. Too bad there was a table firmly between them. He wouldn't mind discovering how else she might react to him.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get the chance as her phone starts ringing. A low gravely almost computer sounding voice growls ‘I am Iron Man’ as guitars start in the background. His brow furrows in confusion as she pulls the device out of her purse and clicks a button on the side before laying it face down on the table, silent once more.

“Do you need to get that?” He asks leaning back.

“Back up plan.” She says simply with a shake of her head as their server comes up.

“Hi, I’m Angela and I’ll be server today. Can I start you with anything to drink?” The perky blond server asks.

Darcy has a bemused expression as she orders without ever taking her gaze from Loki’s, “Water with lime please.”

“Coffee please.”

“Alright, I’ll go put these in and give you a few more minutes to look over the menu.” The server leaves and Loki tilts his head at Darcy.

“Your back-up plan was to get a phone call fifteen minutes after we were supposed to meet?”

Darcy is starting to answer when his own phone starts ringing. His cheeks flushing as he works to get it silenced before it disturbs the dining room. Perfect timing.

“Need to get that?” Darcy asks a self-satisfied smile plastered to her face as she leans back.

“It’s just an alarm.” He hisses as the ringing goes silent.

“I’m sure. So are you going to bolt on me or are we both in agreement to see what happens next?”

“Let’s see what happens next, shall we? I’d to be accused of not giving things a legitimate chance.” He pauses as their serve returns with their drinks.

They ask for a few more minutes before ordering. Loki leaning forward in his seat and Darcy does the same her grin mirroring the one he can feel splitting his face. She is beautiful he realizes once he stops trying to dismiss her. Now that he’s paying attention instead of thinking about his thesis project. And if he was gauging her reaction correctly just as much interested in a little payback at her friends as he was.

“What do you say to telling them that it was a terrible date?”

“Sounds like an idea I can get behind.”

“Excellent.”

Dinner goes well. As they eat the pair plan all the ways they plan to convince Thor and Jane that it was a horrible experience. They start simple, keeping the beginnings as close to what happened as possible. Mixing truth with fiction was the easiest way to remember a lie, a fact he was pleased to see that she was already familiar with as they talked.

When they finish, Loki lingers. She lingers. He couldn’t remember feeling quite like this before. The last time a person caught his interest like this was a long time ago. Getting up from the table he picks up her coat and holds it out to her to help her put it on once she stands.

“Can I drive you home?” He asks putting his jacket on.

“No, I’m good, but you can call me tomorrow if you’ll give me your phone.”

“Of course.”

Handing over his phone he watches her type in her phone number and her name. Red-tipped fingers returning his phone to him.

“I’ll do that.”

“You had better mischief. Otherwise, our little prank will be very real.”

“I promise Darcy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. <3


End file.
